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Post by dnic on Nov 9, 2008 0:40:51 GMT -6
I was originally going to vent about this but I let it go for a few days and now it just seams funny. Last week at church (I play in the band) the leader/ acoustic guitar player broke three strings. After the third one he set his guitar down for one song and couldn't take not feeling in control any more and walked over to pick up a tambourine. In the process he knocks over his guitar. By that time we are all a little out of time and then he starts with the tambourine. Need I say more. I'm very happy we don't have cow bells laying around.  I do plan on hiding the tambourine. dane  |
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Post by GuitarAttack Forum on Nov 9, 2008 9:52:04 GMT -6
Need I say more. I'm very happy we don't have cow bells laying around. I do plan on hiding the tambourine. I was playing back in the 80s with a band, and we always seemed to have bad luck with difficult patrons. One night a fellow jumped on stage and started taking his clothes off. We were on the second verse of the song, and just kept playing. Thankfully, about the time he got his pants down, the bouncers pulled him from the stage. The guy didn't quite get himself "exposed", but it was very disruptive. I really played a great solo, too...and I don't think it was noticed. We weren't sure who he was or why he was stripping...and this was years before "Naked Novak" on Bam Margera's "Wild Boys" show. I was thinking that maybe if a cowbell had've been available on stage the dude wouldn't have taken his clothes off to get attention! John |
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Post by hoz on Nov 9, 2008 23:17:01 GMT -6
walked over to pick up a tambourine. In the process he knocks over his guitar. That's bad in a church. That had to feel awkward! You can't hide in the shadows at a church either! This was before 911 and Great White's accident. The Hookers used homemade flash pots w/ gunpowder. There's about a million stories using these things on tours! Like walking into gun shops wearing a Slayer t-shirt asking for gunpowder! One time we accidently bought mussel loading "black" gunpowder, because we didn't know what we where doing! So we're in a club somewhere on the outskirts of LA and we do our opening and hit the first flash pots. Killed the stage power breaker and filled the whole club and bar with black smoke! As a crowd of people ran outside another was running inside to see what was going on! We cut the set short that nite, and didn't use the other pots. I miss those things! |
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Post by GuitarAttack Forum on Nov 10, 2008 7:55:30 GMT -6
We cut the set short that nite, and didn't use the other pots. I miss those things! Flash pots are kewl. My first band played a talent show at high school back in the day when KISS was really happening. We "harvested" a bunch of powder from firecrackers -- yes, firecrackers. We stored the powder in a big Tupperware container we got from the drummer's mom. Ignition was provided by an Estes rocket motor igniter and a battery. On the day of the show we started "rocking" and one of our faithful hangers-on lit the flashpot. Sadly, it didn't really flash -- it sort of smoldered and provided an incredible amount of smoke. While the effect was kewl, it made some of the more "traditional" teachers uncomfortable. ROCK ON! John |
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Post by cknowles on Nov 10, 2008 13:55:55 GMT -6
Oh man, I'm laughin!!! Fire cracker powder just stinks when it smolders! I can imagine that they were a bit "uncomfortable". dnic, I've pulled my share of gaffs in our church service. Once I accidentally turned on my distortion pedal just before I was "supposed" to intro a quiet meditative passage, I didn't catch it until I hit the strings and BWAWAWM I was 10 times as loud as I wanted to be. Everything stopped and the congregation waited until I'd sorted myself out. It's Funny now, but I must have turned every shade of red at the time. The pastor approached me after and said I would have covered better if I'd just yelled "Rock ON!!" then kept going. Well maybe next time...  |
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Post by hoz on Nov 10, 2008 21:09:28 GMT -6
The pastor approached me after and said I would have covered better if I'd just yelled "Rock ON!!" then kept going. Well maybe next time... That one got me going ( laughing)! Pastors always have the best sense of humor. |
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Post by shattered on Nov 17, 2008 12:47:10 GMT -6
That one got me going ( laughing)! Pastors always have the best sense of humor. Not always. While rehearsing before Mass one week, we hacked together a cover of "American Woman". The Gospel reading that week was about the woman at the well, so we made up some lyrics and called it "Samaritan Woman". Father Jack, who was active in my school's campus ministry, had an advanced degree in music, and was an acquaintence of Dave Brubeck, was not amused. Word to the wise - don't mess with a Jesuit! |
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Post by dnic on Nov 19, 2008 13:28:25 GMT -6
Now you're messin with a "Jesuit". Bet he wouldn't like a rewrite on that one either. It was by Nazareth. That's gotta count for something. all in fun. dane |
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Post by dzguitar on Nov 27, 2008 2:03:56 GMT -6
This was a rather painful but cool experience...
One afternoon... early 80's while setting up for the gig later in the evening I realized that I hadn't brought a pack of jewelers screw drivers that I used for repairing in this case a busted XLR jack. So I locate in my tools the smallest flat blade and process outside to the sidewalk for some improptu grinding. I managed after a couple of beers to get'r filed down to the size I needed and then began backing the screw out of the cable when someone called my name. Then it happened! Homemade instrument of destruction ended up impailed about 1/2" into my right hand thumb!!!! Needless to say I was bleeding like a stuck pig but the cable still needed to be repaired... which I did while having a bar napkin duct taped to my throbbing thumb!
Here's the cool part! Several hours later while we were playing and the band had gotten near the end of our first set I noticed people pointing at me while I was doing a rather inspired solo on my white... 1959 Gibson melody maker. The look on their faces was that of fear, or wondering what the hell was happening, or just amazement but when I looked down thinking I was really doing something I noticed blood splattering all over the top of the guitar!!! So here I am standing in knee deep dry ice fog with a spot light on me and blood stains all over the top ripping a solo.
I had fans talking about for several years thinking I'd literally played till my fingers bleed!
BTW... the blood stains came off the guitar... but not the blue jeans I was wearing that evening.
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quarry
Full Member
I dig rock!
Posts: 119
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Post by quarry on Nov 29, 2008 9:24:05 GMT -6
I was "substituting" for a guitar player in a friend's band... We were playing a gig at a Holiday Inn lounge. This had to be '79-ish. It was winter (in Madison, WI) and a big snow storm hit during our show. We were snowed in, so we had to spend the night. Of course we got bored... so we took the left over dry ice from the "fogger" and dropped it into the hot tub (this was back in the day when hotels had community "spa" areas instead of hot tubs right in your room). The fog got knee-deep throughout the entire hotel, even the lobby... Needless to say, we were banned from that Holiday Inn for life.  |
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Post by dnic on Dec 17, 2008 13:24:06 GMT -6
He did it again. The guy I mentioned in the first post knocked his guitar over again, this time in rehearsal before church started. Taylor guitars are tough. |
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Post by hoz on Dec 18, 2008 8:52:52 GMT -6
Man, I thought you guys were a Christian band! Your leader will have to start saving the drinks till after practice or gigs.
Who's the cute poochie?
-Hoz
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Post by dnic on Dec 18, 2008 9:24:46 GMT -6
If we were Catholics I'd suspect he's been hitting the Communion wine. He just needs to look were he's going or pick up his feet. The pooch is named Missy. A Lhasa Apso. They were bread to guard the Temple in Tibet. dane Edited to finish my post . I ran out of time this morning. These little dogs are fierce. And a pack of them could some damage. |
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Post by GuitarAttack Forum on Dec 18, 2008 15:52:53 GMT -6
These little dogs are fierce. And a pack of them could some damage. We have a "Show me your arsenal" thread. How about a "Show me your dog" thread? I want to show off my attack MaltiPoo...10 pounds of fury. That dog hits like a "One Man Kung Fu SWAT Team". John |
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Mach Twang
Full Member
"The large print giveth and the small print taketh away."
Posts: 139
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Post by Mach Twang on Jan 6, 2009 18:56:34 GMT -6
Oh man, I’ve been laughing my butt off. Now I have to share a few.. ;D First one is from my wife:Her band was playing at a bar one night when her drummer had an unfortunate accident. First you gotta know a lil bit about this guy. He was all heart and funny as the day is long but not very good at the whole ‘tool user’ aspect of human kind, but what else would you expect from a drummer? He always looked like he dressed by diving into a pile of rumpled clothes, he not so much walked but leaned forward and his feet just scampered along behind him. His car was a mish mash of food bags, dirty clothes and cd cases, a bit slovenly to say the least. He also tended to lose things a lot, especially pieces of his drum set. Things like: wing nuts, drum keys, screws, etc. This finally came back to haunt him one night playing at a bar. At the end of the set he dashes head long into his drum solo and does his thing, finishes with a triumphant leap to his feet to the adoring cheers and applause of the crowd. Yay!! What he fails to see is that when he jumped up he had bumped his drum throne, and because he tends to lose things, the set screw is missing and the soft cushy bucket seat pops off and falls off the riser. His moment of glory complete he plops back down and cornholes himself on the remains of his former throne. He shrieked and fell to the floor in agony as the rest of the band, who saw this happening, laughed until they were sick. Like a trooper he pulled himself together and managed to finish out the night with a sore pucker and ripped pants but he wouldn’t look any of them in the eyes…
Number two, again from the wife: Her band was playing one night at some tavern in the middle of no where. Their PA was powered by one of the old Peavey work horse power amps. Now you know those things generate some serious heat, this one had been used so much that the screened schematic on the top and turned brown and cracked. Well the end of the night is drawing near and the townies are fulla beer and one walks up, stands near the PA and is watching my wife play. He stands there for a few minutes and starts to move around the speakers near the mixers and amps, she tries to shush him away but he mistakes this for enthusiasm and gives her a hearty “ROCK ON!!” with both hands raised. He then starts to teeter and reaches out to catch himself with one hand. Right on top of the power amp.[/u][/i] He pauses for a moment as the pain cuts through the alcoholic haze and lets forth a roar that near drowns out the band and jerks his hand off the amp leaving a little skin behind. He then dashes off to the bar in search of some ice never to be seen again.. Lastly, from me:
Now I never played in bar bands as about 3 years after I started playing guitar I screwed up my left thumb in a factory accident so badly it took an operation and 2 years of therapy before I could even think about doing anything with it. So, just to be near the whole ‘scene’ I worked nights for local bands doing roadie/guitar tech stuff, lights and of course, pyro. I had to laugh when I saw similar experiences you guys had shared. Especially using the fffg black muzzle loaders powder!! Wow, I can only imagine the smoke..  I only ever used Blue Dot Smokeless Shotgun powder myself, that was until I found a canister of old flash powder in my friend’s garage. Real flash powder, like the stuff they use on real stages! Well being young and dumb I didn’t think to test it first and just threw it in my box of tricks and forgot about it until the next gig. I loaded the pots as usual, 2 gms of Blue Dot, a gram of copper filings for pretty green sparkleys and figured a gram of this flash powder would do the trick… Now I didn’t know if any kind of agent like that got wet and dry in a musty old outdoor garage that it got unstable and more potent. So the band rips into their first song, my cue comes for the pyro, I hit the switch and !!FOOM!! [/color]It was like looking into ground zero of an atomic blast at 10 paces. Everyone in this dark little club was now completely blind, the bass player nearly takes a header off the stage, patrons are stumbling to and froe and everyone is seeing this HUGE purple dot hanging in space for the next five minutes. Needless to say the manager was NOT happy with me and told me never to do that again. Luckily he left before load out when the house lights came up and didn’t see the 2 huge black scorch marks on his ceiling.  |
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I do plan on hiding the tambourine.
I only ever used Blue Dot Smokeless Shotgun powder myself, that was until I found a canister of old flash powder in my friend’s garage. Real flash powder, like the stuff they use on real stages! Well being young and dumb I didn’t think to test it first and just threw it in my box of tricks and forgot about it until the next gig. I loaded the pots as usual, 2 gms of Blue Dot, a gram of copper filings for pretty green sparkleys and figured a gram of this flash powder would do the trick… Now I didn’t know if any kind of agent like that got wet and dry in a musty old outdoor garage that it got unstable and more potent. So the band rips into their first song, my cue comes for the pyro, I hit the switch and !!FOOM!! [/color]It was like looking into ground zero of an atomic blast at 10 paces. Everyone in this dark little club was now completely blind, the bass player nearly takes a header off the stage, patrons are stumbling to and froe and everyone is seeing this HUGE purple dot hanging in space for the next five minutes. Needless to say the manager was NOT happy with me and told me never to do that again. Luckily he left before load out when the house lights came up and didn’t see the 2 huge black scorch marks on his ceiling. 